Thursday, August 21, 2008

begin again

begin again, originally uploaded by Sea Dream Studio.

Oh, gentle reader, you know me only as a trick of light, not the real person that I am. Here in Blogland we reveal but a sliver of ourselves, so I will tell you a bit more of my true self.
I am a person who strives to be a peaceful, accepting, generous and kind. I read books that promote this, listen to music that feeds my soul and encourages me in these endeavors. I hope to treat all people with understanding, patience and tenderness. This is not something I take lightly, but a true devotion. In the past few years I have become much more purposeful in my attempts to live in a kind and loving manner among my fellow human beings here on this blue planet. I think I have had some success in this. I believe I have grown spiritually and I think this is reflected in my daily life.

But, alas, yesterday I failed terribly! I think I was as angry as I have ever been in my life! I was enraged (yep, that's the word) by the actions of a most difficult person of my aquaintance. The things I said were all true, all valid, but still, I consider this a failure on my part. I tossed all of my lovely zen peacefulness out the window. I will just say that this situation involved a bully and his actions toward my youngest son and some of the other children in the neighborhood, and mostly his parent's basically condoning this behavior for many years . And what is a bully, but a frightened tyrant? Sigh... I shook like a leaf for hours after this encounter, but it was years in the making and yesterday was the day I'd had enough.
So, today I begin again on my path to tranquility. I will not waste this day in regret. I doubt my harsh words will change the aforementioned situation and I can not take them back, so forward I go.


Jessica said...

I totally admire your attempts to be a peaceful and kind person and have been trying to do the same myself for years. But don't beat yourself up over getting mad yesterday. It may not be ideal, but you are human and we all have to give in to our emotions - good and bad! Especially when it involves your children.

Sea Dream Studio said...

Thank you Jessica! I am feeling better as time goes by. I think I was the proverbial mother bear. I can absorb a lot of crap when it is directed toward me, but not so much when it comes to my kids. I have had a good, creative day am moving on. Thanks again for kind and encouraging words!

Leah C said...

We moms can be very mighty when someone messes with our're a loving mom, you're human, and you have a natural instinct to protect your child. So give yourself a break; dealing with a bully is a difficult thing.
And when the parent of said bully condones the behavior, that can be very maddening; I do feel your frustration! On a lighter note, you've inspired me to try to be more peaceful in my daily endeavors:)


Related Posts with Thumbnails